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Writer's Block: Something to cry about

Sep. 12th, 2010 | 09:49 am

How do you feel about corporeal punishment?

Well, I feel first that you should go get a dictionary and look up "corporeal" because I do not think that word means what you think it means. But really I feel that people should learn to spell words that about 75% of the English speaking world is incapable of spelling correctly even though they are really simple fucking words. 

Jesus effin'.

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The Last Exorcism

Aug. 28th, 2010 | 10:04 pm
mood: nauseatednauseated

Hmph. A caveat: I spent the second half of this movie distracted by the incredible nausea induced from the shaky cam, so it's possible that I'm holding a grudge.

This movie sucked. And that pisses me off, because from the (very little) I'd read about it, I'd gotten a completely different impression of what was going to happen. It starts off with some good character driven stuff, with the unrepentantly fraudulent preacher, who actually is repentant, but not repentant enough not to take this dude's money to exorcise his daughter, but it's the last time, and he's making an expose about the whole business, so really it's okay! And there are discussions about the theater and big business of religion as practiced today, and whether he ever had any faith at all, having been groomed by his father to be this perfect showman preacher pretty much since he was born. And that was all really interesting! I really wanted to see that go somewhere.

And then it dissolved into an incoherent mess. We get some lovely picturesque roadside scenes of poverty stricken Louisiana, and for a brief second, I thought we were gonna get some discussion about fraudulent preachers preying on the poor, and how lack of good educational opportunities in these poverty stricken areas just makes them ripe for such superstitious nonsense as exorcisms and demons and shit, but instead we get some poor old hicks talking about hell and demons and UFOs. (The UFO lady, strangely for a poor Louisianan, had no Southern accent. Neither did the fraudulent repentant/unrepentant preacher exorcist dude. And he was supposedly raised in Louisiana.)

So fine then. On we go to the Switzer farm, where Louis Switzer's daughter, Nell, is the possessed girl to be exorcised. And we meet Nell's brother, Caleb, who doesn't want his sister hurt (or does he?)* so he tells them to go back to where they came from, but Louis is convinced his precious baby girl has a demon in her. Now, at this point, I'm still having some hope, there's still potential here, exorcist dude is evaluating her to decide if he's going to exorcise her, and he's showing some of the tricks of the fake exorcism trade, and it's all good, right?

Not to go into too much detail if anyone still wants to see it, but it's after the exorcism that it all goes to shit. I mean, there are some cheap scare moments that caused quite a bit of screaming in the theater**, and one excellent sequence where Nell has the camera (I found it the most disturbing part of the entire film) but after that? At one point, it almost saved itself with some nasty incestuous allegations, but it pretty much went for a predictable cheap thrill ending that seems to have been copied wholesale from Rosemary's Baby, except, and I hate to say this, but Polanski did a much better job. Yes, there are a lot of questions left unanswered, but they're the wrong questions.

I can't explain the other thing that's bugging the shit out of me without completely giving away the ending, dammit.

Also, if you are at all prone to motion sickness, I'd recommend staying the fuck away***. Blair Witch Project made me slightly nauseous when I saw it in the theater. This one made me so sick I thought I was going to have to leave the theater to vomit. As it was, I didn't make it all the way home after the movie. Gore doesn't bother me at all, but shaky cams are like my kryptonite, man.

ETA: I should have mentioned this, but Ashley Bell's (Nell) and Patrick Fabian's (Rev. Cotton Marcus, fraudulent exorcist dude) acting was actually excellent. They did their jobs, it was the writing and the cheap ending that ruined things.

* Oooh, foreshadowing. Or am I?

** I was surrounded almost entirely by teenagers on a Saturday night. Of course there was screaming, else there was no excuse for all those girls to latch onto the nearest smelly male teenager. 

*** If you must ignore my advice, at least abstain from the popcorn. 

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pass the WD40

Aug. 19th, 2010 | 10:17 am
mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable

 PIcture it: a random lecture hall. It looked like a room at UAB, but I can't be sure. I thought I was there for a sort of continuing education class, a free Anthro 101 course if you will. My great-aunt and a cousin were there too, but they didn't know I was taking it because I decided really last minute. 

But! In a surprise twist! One of the prerequisites of the course was access to a trailer. The kind you haul behind a truck. To carry shit on. Like, I don't know, a small tractor. Because really we were learning about how to haul and use tractors. And I said I was surprised about that, because I really couldn't imagine my aunt and my cousin wanting to learn how to use a tractor. But I thought it was the coolest fucking class ever. Not least because they were supplying the tractors.

And then I woke up. And couldn't move because I've fucked something up in my neck. I managed to decamp from my bed by using my pillow as a sling to sort of lift my head where I proceeded to roll myself to a semi-upright and grunting position. I thought it was just a crick yesterday, but today I can't turn it at all and it hurts when I move, breathe, try to pick anything up, brush my teeth, try to raise my arms above my shoulders, type, and probably when I eat, I don't know because I haven't been brave enough to try yet. Ouchies.

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twice in a month. it's almost like i'm not a slacker.

Aug. 17th, 2010 | 07:32 pm
mood: apatheticapathetic
music: Corinne Bailey Rae - Enchantment | Powered by Last.fm

I was going to go through and f-lock some entries and leave some public, but I've got something like 800 entries and yeah. No. So I just went and flocked the whole thing, unlocked a couple of the first twenty, lost my patience and said I'd be more discerning going forward. Maybe some day. Hah, who am I kidding?

I'd like to join a book club or something, but there's nothing within an hour's drive of here, and I'm not driving an hour if I can help it. Just to illustrate my growing insanity, I've considered starting one myself here in Hellhole-ville USA, and still haven't ruled it out. I don't even like most of the people in this town, y'all. 

In other random news, we are going through a spate of weather where it will rain absolutely everywhere that is not here. And when it does rain here, it rains really, really hard. For five minutes. Just enough to turn our property into a sauna! Some people pay money to suffer like this. These people are clearly insane.

Here, have some links so I look like I know how to write a post anymore!

Hypnotic Brass Ensemble
Titi Freak
I don't even know where to start. It's a naked bloody Rolling Stones cover. How do you even classify that? NSFW, fo shizzle. Also frankly creepy. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?
Ravine by Jacob Kierkegaard
and for reference - Alvin Lucier's I Am Sitting In A Room (mp3 link)- which I learned today drives my dog insane. ETA: for anyone who has never had the pleasure of experiencing I Am Sitting In A Room, it is possibly the most annoying 15 minutes of sound captured for posterity in the history of the planet. I'd rather listen to shrieking children. At least they aren't avant-garde. (Note here that I use avant-garde in the sense that it's been appropriated by a bunch of pretentious fucktards, and not in the original, experimental innovation sense.)

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Books in 2010, 6-10

Feb. 1st, 2010 | 07:22 pm
mood: exhaustedexhausted


Storm Front, Frankenstein, My Man Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, BoneshakerCollapse )

Now playing: Rufus Wainwright - Poses
via FoxyTunes
On Dreamwidth: comment count unavailable comments | leave a comment

I'd prefer comments left on DW, but some of you assholes are stubborn, I know.

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Books in 2010, 1-5

Jan. 28th, 2010 | 10:00 pm

Most of this group and the next are re-reads. It's been a pretty shit few weeks, and I haven't really wanted to actually have to think.Soulless, Interpreter of Maladies, Tao of Pooh, Murder on the Orient Express, Reaper ManCollapse )

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